I had heard of you by hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you. Job 42:5 I wait for that magical moment to arrive when the puzzled look gives way to the “ah ha” moment. It is the intangible reward of teaching that I cherish the most. Furrowed brows untangle, dulled eyes light up and twisted mouths break open into smiles of pure joy when it happens. The audible “Oh’s” are like the applause given for a great performance. The moment when understanding breaks through doubt is priceless. In Job 42, Job is expressing his “ah ha” moment with God. Up until this point in time, he could spit back the memorized lines from the Torah of his youth, stand firm on what he had been taught in the synagogue about the nature of God, withstand the nagging of his wife to recant, endure the dissuasion of his friends, question the purpose of the Almighty, but not feel a peace in his heart. He had done everything right, but he had not yet fully, deeply and personally understood and connected with God. He knew the right things to think, but he did not understand. The math formula did not quite make sense. Job knew all the right spiritual answers. He knew that God controlled all things. He knew it wasn't right telling God what was happening to him was wrong. He knew he should trust God, but just he just didn’t. He was going through the motions of trust with doubt still holding on in his heart. Just like a math student, he could work the problem, but he didn’t fully comprehend it. I don’t know about you but there have been many times in my life when I have gone through the motions of being spiritually strong, but in my heart, I was emotionally terrified. I have doubted my decisions. I have wondered if God was truly in control. I have struggled with unanswered prayer. I have envied the wealth and belongings of those who weren’t following God and wondered why we couldn’t be so blessed. In my head, I knew what God could do, but I in my heart I didn’t believe He would do it. Fortunately, God didn’t leave Job in a state of uncertainty. He welcomed Job’s questions. He absorbed Job’s anger and He waited. He waited for Job’s rote knowledge to sink deeply into Job’s heart and penetrate his soul turning that knowledge into understanding. God waited for Job’s “ah ha” moment. In the same way, God waits for our “ah ha” moments. And like a good teacher, He patiently guides, corrects, listens, and redirects us by scaffolding the learning in our lives to begin where we are and build to where He wants us to be. He moves us one step at a time from the shallow pool of rote learning to the deep well of understanding. So that just like Job we can say, “I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you.” I pray that as we struggle to understand the tough places in our lives today, our brows will unfurl and our eyes will light up with a true understanding of the love, provision, and protection of God causing us to utter an audible gasp because now “we get it.” And just like Job, we can honestly say, “but now my eye sees you.”
0 Comments
Who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works, but because of his own purpose, and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began, and which now has been manifested through the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus. 2 Timothy 1: 9-10. Sometimes I struggle with knowing what my purpose is, especially in the transitional stages of my life. College. Career. Marriage. Kids. Staying home. Ministry. School aged-children. Teens. Back to work. Graduates. Empty nest. Married children. Menopause. Job changes. Friend changes. House changes. Elderly parents. Health issues. Hair issues. Each time a new phase starts in my life, I start asking myself, “Where do I belong? How do I fit into this new space?” You see, for me life changes are like trying to replace a favorite pair of jeans, I struggle with them until the new pair becomes the old pair. I am a slow to launch introvert. It takes me awhile to adjust to life’s alterations. Familiar makes me feel safe, secure, and confident. New makes me feel unsteady and unsure as if I am wandering in the wilderness after dark tripping and stumbling over unseen rocks and roots. The beauty of 2 Timothy 1:9-10 is that my purpose isn’t about me. It’s not about finding my way through a strange city without the aid of Google maps. It’s not about finding the job that gives me passion and fulfills me. It’s not about raising perfect children or Pintresting my house perfectly. It’s not about me at all. It’s about Him. I don’t have to work at finding my purpose. My purpose isn’t something to be found; it is something to be experienced. My purpose is a calling. My purpose is a calling to a relationship. My purpose is a calling to love and follow Jesus. That’s it. When I love and follow Jesus, God fulfills his purpose in me. I don’t have to struggle with knowing what I am supposed to be doing with my life. I just need to love and follow Jesus trusting God to take care of the rest. I need to trust that He will bring purpose to all the unsettling transitions in my life. So as I navigate each new uneasy season of life, I need to put my heart and soul at ease knowing that God’s guiding grace is steadying my topsy-turvy world with meaning and purpose. Who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking on the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Philippians 2:6-8 I stepped up to the podium and handed the blue uniformed man my boarding pass and ID. He eyed the documents, glanced at me, then handed back my documents and gestured towards the nearby conveyor belt and metal detector. I placed my bag on the belt and quickly walked through the metal detector. Retrieving my bag, I waited on the other side of the uniformed TSA security line for my family to finish their screening process. I watched as my husband and son removed their belts, emptied their pockets, took off their shoes and waited in line to stand in the full body x-ray machine. The wait continued as they gathered their belongings, put their shoes back on and reloaded their pockets. I could have gone to Starbucks and back by the time they were done. I know, a better person would have stayed in line with them, but I had my TSA pre-approved boarding pass in hand and I didn’t want to take out my laptop, remove my shoes or wait in line. I had been spoiled by the convenience of being pre-approved and I didn’t want to go back to the inconvenience of the regular screening process. As I read Philippians 2:6-11, I am struck by the fact that Jesus had all the privileges of heaven, but he didn’t cash in on them while he was on earth. He gave up his membership in heaven to live among the “regular” people. He relinquished all the conveniences he had as the Son of God in order to stay with us. He humbled himself and became obedient to the will of God. He chose the inconvenient over the convenient. He died to his desires in order to restore mankind to a right relationship with God. So much of our lives are spent trying to get into the right circles. We strive to gain power, position and privilege. We have agendas to follow in order to achieve the goals we have set for our lives. We like having the annual pass to the theme park, curbside delivery, country club or yacht memberships, a gold MasterCard, or house in the best neighborhood (here in Florida they are gated communities). Our calendars are full and our lives are centered on convenience. Our days are hectic and hurried leaving us little time and space to hear God’s voice or to take care of people. Jesus calls us to live differently. He calls us to think like him. He calls us to act like him. He calls us to be like him. He calls us to live a life that is inconvenienced for others. He calls us to relinquish our membership in the “me first” club and join the “God, what do you need me to do?” club. I think if Jesus was flying commercial today he would trade the convenience of being pre-approved for the inconvenience of the slow process of regular security screening just to be with his family. Next time. Maybe… What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? … So also faith by itself; if it does not have works, is dead. James 2:14, 17 I stood waiting. My coffee was ready. My plate was out. The butter was softened to a creamy consistency. But, still nothing. Time was ticking away and still no bagel had popped up for me to slather with butter and eat before work. Wondering what was taking so long, I peered over the top of the toaster and peeked in…nothing. That’s right nothing. The toaster was empty. I hadn’t put my bagel in it. At that moment, I realized in order to get something out of the toaster, I had to put something in the toaster. An empty toaster doesn’t warm anything up. It just sits unused taking up counter space. I can set a plate around it. Look at it. Polish it. Praise it. Wonder at it. Hope for it. But, until I put something in it and pull the lever down, it doesn’t fulfill its purpose. There is no breakfast without a bagel in the toaster. I think faith is like a toaster. If we want to get something out of it, we have to put something in it. Our faith is meant to drive us to do things. It is meant to warm up our lives with helping others. It is designed to empower us to minister to those in need. It doesn’t do anything unless we put something in it. Faith without works is dead (James 2:17). Our faith works when we put it to work. And, just like a toaster can warm up different types of bread your faith in action can meet different types of needs. Your words of encouragement matter. Your hospitality make a difference to someone who is lonely. Your donations and volunteer hours help the needy. Your monetary gifts ripple out beyond their starting point. Your example of walking by faith strengthens those who follow behind you. So the next time you make toast, an English muffin, bagel or frozen waffle, ask God to show you one way you can put your faith into action to meet someone else’s need. Don’t be like me standing around waiting for the bagel you never put in your toaster because toasters only work when you put something in them. Can God truly use the ordinary? This question rattles around in my head and taps on my heart. Ordinary. Plain. Predictable. Everyday. Conventional. Common. Simple. Me. I have a lived a pretty, simple, basic, quiet, normal life. I have not had to endure cancer. Grieve over a lost child. Been devastated by divorced. Lost everything in a fire or natural disaster. Totaled a car. Earned a million dollars. Written a book. Adopted a child from Africa, Asia or America. I have not done anything the world would say was extraordinary. My life is predictably plain. The lack of “wow” in my life stands barren alongside the flourishing feeds of others on Instagram, Pintrest and Facebook. As a result, ordinary starts to whisper in my ear. How can God use me? What message could I possible have? Who could ever be touched by what I said? Do I make a difference? I pray. I journal. I keep it all inside. I wait for the day that God will change me. I wait to become the confident woman I see others around me being. I wait to be more of the Jesus girl than I am. But you see, I am tired of waiting. I’m tired of waiting to make life different. I’m tired of waiting for me to be different. I’m tired of struggling with my insecurities. I’m tired of feeling that ordinary is not good enough. I am tired of waiting for my life to explode into extraordinary. I want to "feel" once and for all deep down that I am more than enough. That what I am doing is right. That I am making a difference. That ordinary matters. I want to stop discounting my life just because it’s not extraordinary. I want to be reassured that everyday ordinary plates are just as valuable and important as expensive ornate porcelain ones. I may not have anything fancy to give, but I want my meager morsels of service to mean something. I want to find God’s extraordinary in my ordinary. Because, deep down inside of me I want most of all to see God. To feel His presence. To see His miracles in the common things of my life. I want to know what He has in store for me. I want to be connected to Him. Understood by Him. Loved by Him. I want to feel the praise of my Savior. I want to hear his voice say, "Good job." "Way to go." “I’m proud of you.” I want to make a difference. I want to encourage others. I want to help others walk closer to Jesus, to lean into the arms of our Savior and feel His strong embrace. I want my ordinary to matter to God. God tapped me on my shoulder today and gently whispered in my ear, “Yes, you matter. Yes, I see your ordinary. Yes, I can use whatever you give me.” Romans 10:11 states, “everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame” Romans 10:11. These words began to tug at the weeds of fear and insecurity that have taken root in my heart. It was as if God was tilling my heart reminding me that nothing we do for Him is ever in vain. Friends nothing we do in faith for God is for naught. We do not have any reason to question ourselves or to apologize for who we are in Jesus. Our faith gives us a boldness that goes beyond our ordinary, normal, everyday lives. Sweet friends and sisters know that it is okay to be imperfect. You are loved and accepted just the way you are, ordinary or not, because God specializing in doing the extraordinary with the ordinary. Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the first fruits of all your produce. Then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine. Proverbs 3:9-10 The little jar of flour sat on the kitchen windowsill. It stood there quietly like a statue honoring a hero as a reminder of God’s provision. Times were financially tight for our little family of four and that jar stood before me every day as a tangible reminder of God’s faithful provision. First Kings 17 tells the story of the prophet Elijah and the widow of Zarephath. Upon being asked to provide the prophet with a morsel to eat, she responds by telling him she has nothing to give him and is heading home to a handful of flour left in a jar to make her last meager meal. The prophet presses the issue and tells her to go home and bake her meal, but only after she provides him with a small cake first. He concludes his request with the promise that if she cares for his need first then God will provide for her and the jar of flour will never be empty. The woman acted in faith following his instructions. She fed the prophet first, then fed herself and her son. And, miraculously her flour jar never ran dry. The woman’s never empty jar of flour inspired my own. My husband and I had made a commitment to God early in our marriage that I would stay home when we had children. We honored that commitment for over 16 years, even though living on one income should never have worked. As a minister’s family, we were never wealthy, but we were never without. Our needs were met. Our bellies were full. Our bodies were clothed. Our mortgage payments were met. We truly tried to honor God with our lives and I believe God honored that commitment. And for many of those years, my partially filled flour jar flashed like a beacon of light signaling to me that God would continually provide for us, just as He did for the widow. God honors our faith. He asks us to trust Him. To put Him first. To rely on Him. To not be afraid. To let Him provide for our needs. Do you need a tangible reminder of God’s faithful provision today? Place a little jar of flour where you can see it. Use it to remind yourself to give God his portion first and then to trust Him to provide the rest. Ask Him to meet your needs. Our God is faithful and He will take care of you. Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it. John 14:13-14 Just Ask I looked over his shoulder at his paper. The incomplete outline revealed that he was about six steps behind the rest of the class. “You need to hurry and catch up,” I said. “I’m lost.” He responded. “When did you get lost?” I countered. “At the beginning.” Stunned, my simple response was, “Then, why didn’t you just ask me for help?” Frustrations abound in the classroom. A simple request at the beginning of our assignment would have prevented my student from being lost throughout the majority of it. If he had asked, I would have helped him. I could have gotten him straightened out at the beginning, instead of having to backtrack several steps, restate directions the group had already covered, in order to get him on track and in the right place. He wouldn’t have been lost. All he had to do was ask. As I read today’s passage, I thought sometimes God must gently shake his head back and forth whispering to himself, “Just ask.” How many times have I stumbled through my day, week, month or year lost, frozen in place by my thoughts and emotions like a diver trapped in the sea by a school of circling sharks? Worried. Stressed. Frustrated. Unsure. Overwhelmed. Undecided. Stuck. Hurt. Lost. All the while God is whispering, “Just Ask.” John 14:12-14 tells us that God is in the business of answering our prayers. He wants us to ask. He wants us to take care of our confusion in life at the beginning of things, not at the end. He doesn’t want us to be lost. He wants us to be on task doing what glorifies Him because when we are lost, we stop being productive. We start desperately looking around trying to find anything that will help us get back on track. Our confusion consumes us, eventually paralyzing us rendering us powerless for His purposes. My student let his early confusion keep him from completing a task. He looked around at others. He talked. He couldn’t figure it out on his own, so he sat. Doing nothing. But, in reality, all he had to do was ask me for help and his problem would have been solved. How about you? Are you confused about something? Concerned? Worried? Unsure? Overwhelmed? Have you asked? God doesn’t want our “why?” or “what next?” to grow into an “I can’t” or “I won’t.” But, He can’t help us if we don’t ask. A Good Hot Shower I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleanness, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:25-26 I could not wait to get out of my sweaty, nasty, dirt soaked clothes. I had been working in the yard for hours pulling weeds, tilling flower beds, and planting new perennials. The Florida humidity had made me hot, grumpy and tired. In the shower, the grime began to melt off my skin and swirl down the drain as the hot water drummed across my back. Grabbing a clean towel as I stepped from the shower, I breathed in the fresh scent of Tide laundry detergent and Downy fabric softener. I inhaled the clean fragrance deeply through my nose fully enjoying the fresh smell. I pulled on a clean shirt and shorts leaving my stinky, sweaty work clothes crumpled on the floor at my feet. I don’t know about you, but for me a good hot shower after a sweaty work out or day of grueling yard work is a gift. There is something almost magical about the way a shower feels when you are coated with salty sweat and caked in soil. The dirtier I am, the longer I tend to linger under the cleansing spray of my Delta shower-head. Believe it or not, my internal spirit can get just as grimy and gritty as my outside skin. Things like bitterness, gossip, pride, disobedience and selfishness build up within me making my heart stiff and crusty like my boys’ leather batting gloves at the end of the baseball season. The once pliable leather gloves become cracked, brittle and unyielding as a season of sweat dries inside of them. The once new gloves have to be thrown away and replaced by new ones the next season. In the same way, sin makes my heart stiff and unyielding towards the things of God. And, just like it takes a hot shower to melt the grime off my body, God uses His word to scrub the filth from my heart. The crustier my heart the longer it takes and the more elbow grease He has to use to make my heart pliable again. Ezekiel 36:24-28 promises us that God will cleanse us and give us a new heart. He won’t let us stay stinky forever. He will remove the hurts that have hardened us and will make us supple again like new leather gloves or freshly washed clothes. He will do whatever it takes make us clean again and in right relationship with Him. And, just as I would never think of putting back on my dirty work clothes after my shower, He won’t let us go back to the way we were. He will replace our selfishness ambition with the will to walk in His ways. Are you feeling a little bit grimy and gritty today? Step into the shower of God’s grace. Allow his presence to wash over you revitalizing your spirit with the fresh fragrance of His mercy. Then wrap yourself in the freshly laundered linens of His love and get ready to start fresh again. Let what you heard from the beginning abide in you. If what you heard from the beginning abides in you, then you too will abide in the Son and in the Father. And this is the promise that he made to us-eternal life. I John 2:24-25. What I Learned From My Yoga Tree I wobbled. I shook. I leaned over and planted my foot on the ground, regained my balance and started all over again. Left leg straight. Right foot to ankle, calf or inner thigh. Arms overhead. Breathe in. Breathe out. Tree. Breathe in. Breathe out. Remain steady? No wobbling? No way! My body is stiff and tight from many years of running with very little stretching. My calves, hamstrings, and hips have been crying out a long time now to be released from the tension I put them under running multiple half marathons and 5Ks during the year. Adding weight lifting to my already tense tendons, hasn’t helped the situation. I knew I needed regular stretching and strengthening. So, in June I started doing yoga at the YMCA. I had considered trying yoga for a long time, but the fear of looking ridiculously stiff in a room filled with flexible Lululemon yoga pants kept me outside of the studio. But, with the encouragement of a friend, a class that fit my schedule, and my favorite YMCA instructor leading it, I donned my Old Navy yoga crop pants and started my summer of stretching. Yoga is hard. Flexibility is hard. Balance is hard. Did I say, yoga is hard? Focus is the key to it. Yoga requires tuning out the distractions around you, letting go of the tensions in your body, suspending your self-conscious concern and leaning into the movements. I can’t relax if I am worried someone is looking at me or if I am looking at them. I am learning. I am learning to tune out the distraction of my perceived awkwardness in the midst of the graceful. I am learning. I am learning to still my heart and body through breathing, focus, and movement. I am learning to tune into and release the tension my body is tightly holding in different places. I am learning to untie the overused twisted tendons and knots of stress I have tied around my back, neck, shoulders, and hamstrings. I am learning. I am learning to improve my balance. I am learning to steady myself in an unbalanced position by fixing my eyes on an immovable object instead of focusing on my quivering legs and arms. I am learning to become physically stable, not because of me, but because of the object on which I am focused. I John 2:24-25 describes spiritual stability. Spiritual stability that comes by connecting the word abide to our relationship with God and the promise of eternal life. John states that if we allow what we know to be true to abide (adhere, comply, rule, keep, stay) in us, then we abide (dwell, last, remain stable) in the Son and the Father. In other words, when we fix our wobbling hearts and minds on the immovable object of God and His word, we become stable in our faith. Just like I stop wobbling in yoga when I fixate on a spot that is not moving, we can remain steady in faith because God and his truth doesn’t move even when we quiver. When our world is unbalanced our steadiness comes from fixing our eyes, not on our circumstances, but on the truth of God’s word. Hebrews 12:2 describes faith steadying focus this way, “Fixing our eyes on Jesus the author, and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Jesus was able to endure all that He did because He was focused on one unwavering truth. In the same way, we can remain steadfast in our faith when we focus on the constant truths of God’s word and not the unstable circumstances that surround us. So, if your faith is feeling a little shaky today, think about how I have to steady my yoga tree by focusing on a static spot on the wall, then pick a truth from God’s word and focus on it. Breathe it in and out allowing God’s immovable truth to quiet your quivering heart. Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. Psalms 91:14 I looked down and there it was coiled in a tight circle lying millimeters from my feet. Simultaneously my body reeled back my mouth let out a yelp. The black racer had taken me by surprise scaring the heck out of me resulting in an over-dramatic response on my part. I hate snakes. They scare the heck out of me. I don’t like the way they hide. I don’t like the way they move. I don’t like snakes. I shudder at the thought of them. The Psalmist writes about serpents and lions for a reason. Serpents are sneaky and lions are fierce. Our lives are filled with sneaky and fierce struggles. Struggles that startle us like hiding snakes or devour us like lions. They can be skirmishes with ourselves, others, or outside forces. How about you? Are you struggling with lions and serpents in your life today? Are powerful circumstances pressing down upon you? Stalking you? Encircling you? Closing in on you? Is your heart racing, palms sweating and head swiveling as the clamping jaws of your circumstance open wider ready to pull you to the ground and devour you? Or maybe your steps, words and heart are guarded today because of the venomous words and actions of the people slithering around you. Are you having to step lightly around the coiled cobras of anger, bitterness, insecurity, ambition, or manipulation? Are you living in fear with your toes down and heals up, eyes scanning the lay of the land, hoping to avoid the strike of a heart-stopping poisonous fang from the mouth of a viper? Psalms 91:13-16 cries out to us: Take heart. Take refuge. Take hold. Take courage. Take over. The words in these few verses not only proclaim the protection of God, but also tell of the triumph of the trusting. If we hold fast in Him in love then He will: Deliver us. Protect us. Answer us. Be with us. Rescue us. Honor us. Satisfy us. Save us. Today, when trying circumstances are circling and mean people are prowling, lift your eyes up, take heart, hang on, press on and prevail because God’s got this and you. He is greater than anything or anyone we could ever encounter. Got snakes and lions nearby? Walk confidently in their midst because faith in God has given you impenetrable protective boots to wear. So, stop tiptoeing and start stomping. Faith boots were made for walking. |
AuthorBetween a husband, 2 sons, and teaching high school my sanity is found in running and Starbucks. I have a circle of running friends who inspire me to be authentic and real as I live a life of faith before them. Archives
April 2024
Categories |