Who Would You Die For?

Who Would You Die For?

Greater love has no one than this that someone lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13 ESV

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.  Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.  James 1:19-22 ESV

I wrote the following piece six years ago on February 15, 2018, the day after the Parkland High School shooting in Florida. Seventeen people (students and staff) were killed. Seventeen were wounded. Most of the students were freshmen. As Valentine's Day has once again come and gone, I wanted to post this once again. I hope you will listen.

I couldn’t remove the cloak of weariness that was draped across my shoulders. The closer I got to home, the heavier it got. The weariness not only lay across my back, it pulled at my eyes and weighed down my head. It had been a very long time since I was this tired. Yesterday our campus was filled with balloons, flowers, stuffed animals, and chocolate. Today it was different. Fear, anxiety, and sadness swirled around the halls and classrooms like trash twisting and twirling in the wind. What a difference a few hours could make. Our students left school Wednesday with Valentine’s Day paraphernalia and plans on their minds and came back on Thursday morning wondering what the future would hold.

Even now as I try to write this, I struggle to stay focused.

You see I spent most of Thursday talking to teenagers about what we should do if an active shooter makes it up the stairwell, onto our hall, and into our classroom. Do we hide? Do we run? Do we fight? Their responses ranged from James Bond movie heroics to truly terrified “I don’t want to die” testimonies.

I sat and listened. Sometimes directing the conversation down a more productive path, but most of the time just listening trying to “hear” the hidden true emotions behind the words being said. When it was all said and done, I couldn’t give them a perfect answer for what to do if we were ever faced with the horror the students in Parkland, Florida faced, but I could give them the reassurance that we would do whatever it took to survive. The blue-eyed warrior princess in the back calmly gave practical defensive plans for securing the door. The gregarious good-looking soccer player volunteered to put on the Spartan armor in the back of the room and “take the guy out” to which his friend replied, “No you won’t. You will stand there and scream like a girl.” Laughter and fear mingled together as we worked together to sort out the tangled emotions we all felt and reassure each other we would be okay.

“Mrs. Gibbens, can I ask you a personal question?” a student asked as we began to transition to the tasks of school work. I motioned for him to come closer to me.

“Would you take one for us?”

“What do you mean?”

“A bullet. Would you take one for us?”

“Yes, I think I would.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I can’t be sure what I would do at that moment, but I think I would.” And I meant it. I’m not sure I would throw my body in front of a bullet for them, but I believe I would do what I could to see that they were safe. I would do my best to get them out of harm’s way.

Why did I write all this? I am not totally sure, but I know in my heart that the best thing I could do yesterday was to listen to my kids, to not be quick to give them answers, to not do all the talking, but to give them a chance to speak. My kids yesterday needed to talk and they needed someone to listen.

I wrote all this because James 1:19 says we need to be quick to hear. We need to listen to those around us. We need to not only listen to what they are saying, but to what they are not saying as well. We need to listen to hear the emotions behind the words. Listening takes work. Listening takes time. Listening takes setting our agendas aside to focus on what the other person is saying. Listening is exhausting, but listening changes things. Listening sets the stage that allows our words to have meaning and relevance. Listening validates the feelings of those around us. Listening tells others that they are seen and that they are important.

Besides, in John 15:13 Jesus commands to his disciples to love each other, “Greater love has no one than this that someone lay down his life for his friends.” It’s easy to quickly assume Jesus means to literally die for each other (and sometimes it might) because that is what Jesus was about to do. However, I think there is a deeper message here. Laying down our lives for each other means sacrificing our daily agendas and making time for others. It means taking time to listen to them.

One of the hardest things to do in life is to set aside our selfishness and seek to serve others, especially when it is inconvenient. When we have a thousand things to do, it’s hard to stop, put them down, and sit still and listen. However, in those moments, that is exactly what is needed. Offering our presence is one away to lay down our life for others.  Being present is what Jesus calls us to do. Jesus calls us to be in tune and aware of the needs around us. He calls us to follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit to lay aside “us” to love the ones around us in the best way possible.
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Listening to my students that day was the best lesson I didn’t plan. The Holy Spirit prompted me on that day six years ago to set aside the academics that were planned and listen instead. My kid were asking me if I would physically die for them that day, but I believe listening to them was a small way I laid down my life for them. I might never have to die for someone, but I am called daily to make sacrifices for others. You see, what I am learning is that setting aside our agendas, sacrificing our time, and maybe even our money to love someone well requires us to lay down ourselves and “die” a little for our friends.   

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