Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.
I poured my heart out. Tears flowing. Blubbering.
All the stored up frustration and hurts came tumbling out like the Tupperware in my cabinets.
He held me and listened.
I felt as if he heard me for the first time in a long time.
The next morning I heard the following words, "I couldn't really understand what you said last night, so I just held you."
Needless to say I was crushed. I was definitely not going to do that soul cleansing all over again.
In Romans 8:26-27 we are told that the Holy Spirit interprets what we say with moans and groans too deep for words.
He hears our heart and accurately communicates it to our Heavenly Father. Our blubbering is always understood by God. There is nothing we say that is misinterpreted or misunderstood. The deepest, darkest, hidden places of our hearts that we unfold before God in our weakest moments are accurately interpreted by the Holy Spirit who advocates for us with our Heavenly Father. Even in those moments of drained out silence, when we are void of words and tears, the Holy Spirit searches our hearts and knows exactly what to ask God for on our behalf.
I don't know about you, but I have had many a moment of being sprawled out, face down on my bed, cheeks wet from crying that I laid there silently with my heart crying out to God. Hoping he understood. Trusting he heard. Grasping at the truth that it would "work for good" (Romans 8:28). Romans 8 gives me some reassurances for these moments in my life. First, I am grateful that the Holy Spirit searches my heart and knows what I truly need and want, even if I don't (Romans 8:26-27). Next, I am reassured that whatever struggle I am facing God will use it for the ultimate good of molding my character to be more like Jesus (Romans 8:28-29). And lastly, all that I am and all that I do is designed to bring glory to God Romans 8:30).
So sweet sisters, blubber away when you need to. God hears, listens, and understands. He is working all things to remake you into the image of his son.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for listening. Thank you for understanding me better than I understand myself. I am so glad that you don't give up on me. You tolerate my insecurities, hormone inflamed emotions, and sin beyond what I deserve. Don't let me lose sight of the fact that everything in my life can work to make me more like Jesus, if I let it and allow you to use it for my greater good.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
My hand clutched the letter that just shattered my world. I read it again, set it down, and cried. I think I cried everyday on and off for over a month. My broken heart seemed to be taking forever to mend.
I don't know what has recently rocked your world-divorce, cancer, infertility, job loss, wayward children, financial difficulties, or something else, but I do know that God hears and he is near. My college break up changed my world because it forced me into the arms of my Savior. While locked away in small study room, crying out to the Lord with tears streaming down my face, I found an intimacy with God that I had never known before. My religion made a seismic shift to relationship. In those vulnerable moments of gut wrenching honesty, my God met me. He sat with me as I poured my heart out to him and he heard me. He listened. He cared. He saw me. He changed me. He healed me.
I don't know what mountain of emotional turmoil and heartache you face today, but I do know God is faithful to hear your cries and heal your hurt.
Psalm 34:17 promises "When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles." So, take it to him. All of it. Have an ugly cry with him and know that he will turn his ear towards your cry and will listen. Not only will he listen, but he will hold you close, wipe your tears, pick you up, dust you off, and set you back up on your feet- ready to face another day.
God uses the brokenness in our lives to bring us into a deeper relationship with him. We are never truly alone. He is always present, always ready to listen, and always able to help.
Today, I am grateful for that Dear John letter that shattered my world because through it I gained an intimate relationship with my God. And the life and family I have now!
I don't ever want to let the hurt of my life keep me from pursuing my relationship with you. I don't want the pain of this world to drive a wedge between me and you. I don't want bitterness and resentment to take root in my heart. I want to be free to have an ugly cry with you knowing you will hear me and not misunderstand me. Touch my heart. Draw me close to you. Heal me. Use me.
Psalm 18: 6-9
In my distress, I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice and my cry to him reached his ears. Psalm 18:6
Fire Breathing Momma
My blood boiled, my jaw tightened, my fists clenched. "How dare him. You don't come to my house to play and then torment my child," I growled inside. It was a good thing the neighborhood friend was not standing right in front of me at that moment. I was on high alert ready to launch a nuclear mom tirade on the boy who had just bullied my son.
My child had come to me earlier in the day in tears. The older boy across the street had been verbally bullying him while they were playing kickball at our house. My son’s hurt heart made mine angry and broken. In that moment, I would have ripped the bully apart like a mother bear protecting her cub. You see, my son had cried out to me in his distress, and I had heard the pain in his voice and was ready to act on his behalf.
In Psalm 18:6-9, David cries out to God in his distress. He calls out to his heavenly Father in his time of need, and God hears. God not only hears David's voice, but he feels David's heart. It wasn't just my son's words that touched me, it was the depth of the pain behind the words. I knew he had been deeply hurt and that anguish moved me to action. David's distress signal reached God's ear and God acted. He shook the earth, moved the heavens, and came down to earth, placing the darkness under his feet.
On this Friday many years ago God heard the cry of mankind. Bullied by sin, burdened by the law, unable to win the fight against the never ending evil that enveloped the world, God moved heaven and earth to save us. Jesus' death shook the world, opened heaven, and forever placed the darkness of sin under his feet.
There is not anything we as mothers won't do for our children. We are wired to nurture and protect them. We carry their pain as if it is our own. God's love for us is greater than our love for our children. Sweet sisters, God loves you and there is nothing he won't do for you. Cry out to him in your time of distress knowing he hears and he acts. He bows down from the heavens and comes down to where we are.
The bully? Luckily for him, he wasn't verbally dismembered by me. Instead, he was banned from our house until he apologized and stopped being mean. It took about a month.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Hear our cries. Touch our hearts. Meet our needs. We can't do it alone.
Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. John 14:1
The boys were excited. The swirling chatter in the back seat vacillated from frequently quoted movie lines, to projected line-ups, to strategic planning for obtaining the best signature. Our move from Arkansas to Florida had brought them to baseball heaven. March in the promise land produced a windfall of autographs for two baseball loving boys. With their favorite team playing less than a hour from home for an entire month, the prospects for prime signatures were almost more than they could bear. As we pulled into the parking lot, my heart began to sink. I didn't expect this. Surely this many people could not be interested in watching the Rangers play? The boys tumbled out of the car with new baseballs and sharpies in hand. The knot in my stomach began to grow. What if we can't get in? What if the game is sold out? I gambled on being able to get tickets at the gate and it looked like we were going to lose that bet.
Uncertainty. It's unnerving. It causes our stomachs to lurch, our throats to constrict and our hearts to quiver. John 14:1-4 tells us to not let uncertainty throw us for a loop. Jesus instructs us to: "Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me." Bottom line, don't worry. Don't let the unknown keep you from what you know. Trust God. Trust me.
Next, he says make a reservation. "If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself that where I am you may be also." Heaven has plenty of room for us. We just need to book the room. We can travel through life with confidence because our future is secure. My family's baseball dilemma could have been avoided if I had purchased tickets before we left. Our seats would have been waiting for us no matter what time we got to the game.
Last, he says follow me. "And you know the way to where I am going." Navigating ballparks is easy. The rows and seats are labeled. Life is a little trickier. But, believe it or not, we actually know the way because Jesus is the Way. We can navigate through life's uncertainties by staying close to the one who knows us and the way we take. He IS our way.
Our day at the ballpark didn't end in a total disaster. We bought 4 tickets from a scalper at face value. The boys scored a few autographs. And, it was the last time we went to a game without tickets.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for making room for me in heaven. I don't want the uncertainties of life to throw me for a loop. I want my soul to be at rest knowing I have a place reserved with you for all eternity.
Between a husband, 2 sons, and teaching high school my sanity is found in running and Starbucks. I have a circle of running friends who inspire me to be authentic and real as I live a life of faith before them.