Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.
I poured my heart out. Tears flowing. Blubbering.
All the stored up frustration and hurts came tumbling out like the Tupperware in my cabinets.
He held me and listened.
I felt as if he heard me for the first time in a long time.
The next morning I heard the following words, "I couldn't really understand what you said last night, so I just held you."
Needless to say I was crushed. I was definitely not going to do that soul cleansing all over again.
In Romans 8:26-27 we are told that the Holy Spirit interprets what we say with moans and groans too deep for words.
He hears our heart and accurately communicates it to our Heavenly Father. Our blubbering is always understood by God. There is nothing we say that is misinterpreted or misunderstood. The deepest, darkest, hidden places of our hearts that we unfold before God in our weakest moments are accurately interpreted by the Holy Spirit who advocates for us with our Heavenly Father. Even in those moments of drained out silence, when we are void of words and tears, the Holy Spirit searches our hearts and knows exactly what to ask God for on our behalf.
I don't know about you, but I have had many a moment of being sprawled out, face down on my bed, cheeks wet from crying that I laid there silently with my heart crying out to God. Hoping he understood. Trusting he heard. Grasping at the truth that it would "work for good" (Romans 8:28). Romans 8 gives me some reassurances for these moments in my life. First, I am grateful that the Holy Spirit searches my heart and knows what I truly need and want, even if I don't (Romans 8:26-27). Next, I am reassured that whatever struggle I am facing God will use it for the ultimate good of molding my character to be more like Jesus (Romans 8:28-29). And lastly, all that I am and all that I do is designed to bring glory to God Romans 8:30).
So sweet sisters, blubber away when you need to. God hears, listens, and understands. He is working all things to remake you into the image of his son.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for listening. Thank you for understanding me better than I understand myself. I am so glad that you don't give up on me. You tolerate my insecurities, hormone inflamed emotions, and sin beyond what I deserve. Don't let me lose sight of the fact that everything in my life can work to make me more like Jesus, if I let it and allow you to use it for my greater good.
Between a husband, 2 sons, and teaching high school my sanity is found in running and Starbucks. I have a circle of running friends who inspire me to be authentic and real as I live a life of faith before them.